How to get your guy friends to your Bachelorette viewing party

So far this summer, I've learned a thing or two about the sales process. When I'm pounding out cold calls, I like to think of myself as a detective. It is my duty to wipe the tears from the church marketing person's eyes when they realize the millions of dollars spent printing those pesky bulletins are in the same dumpster as the dirty diapers from the nursery. There is an app for that, ladies and gentlemen.

With the help of some key selling techniques, anyone can learn to take on a challenging situation and turn it into gold. While I've had the pleasure of handling quite a few difficult people on the phone, not one has presented a challenge as large as coaxing the guy friends into our living room on Monday nights for The Bachelorette. And I do love a challenge.

I am happy to report that, with the help of a little sales knowledge and sugar, Rachael and I have a 100% conversion rate among the guys in the office under the age of 25. The feat is not as impossible as it sounds, ladies. Time to get your detective on and get the guys in front of your TV tonight.

Step 1: The Upfront Contract (UFC for short). One part brutal honesty and the other part mystery, a good upfront contract sounds something like: "Hey, you should come over for the Bachelorette tonight. Can I tell you why I'm saying this?" Ending with a question is like a dangling a fishing pole with Justin Beiber tickets in front of a group of 13 year old girls. Consider attention caught.

Step 2: Find the pain. In sales, you're not trying to sell a product, but a pain reliever. These guys have something missing in their life that you can give them. Pick two of these pain points after your UFC.

1. "You'll just spend 3 hours playing Halo otherwise." 

2. "You get to hang out with awesome people."

3. "You can make fun of it all you want."

4. "Our house smells good."

5. "We just went grocery shopping."

6. "We miss you."

7. "There are no games on tonight."

8. "Our couch is more comfortable than yours."

9. "We can skip through commercials." (if you have DVR)

10. "We're making dessert."

In my experience, numbers 1 and 10 work the best. 

Step 3: Pound the pain. Not to be graphic, but in sales, once you've found the "bruise" on your prospect, punch it. Our people have a giant hole in their lives where sugary treats should reside, so we know to make cookies, peanut butter bars, and cherry squares the main focus. Ask what kind of food the dudes want, and the sale is as good as yours. 

Step 4: Resistance. If you run across a more difficult prospect, let them talk out their issue. Be kind, and always validate ("I totally understand why you hate the show, but let me tell you why it will be worth your time"). Keep the conversation going by asking more questions, and try to understand where they are coming from. Some people's pain just requires more digging than others. If all else fails, a classic guilt trip is usually effective.

Step 5: Close the deal. Send a calendar invite and get those cookies in the oven. 

If at first you don't succeed, be patient and keep pounding the pain. Some will take longer to convince than others, but, in our experiences we've found they will all come around eventually. 

Happy Bachelorette Monday! ;)