More Essential Words You've Never Heard Before

According to the Oxford Dictionary, there are approximately 171,476 words in the English language, plus 5, as noted by this post. So, why is it there are so many persons, places, things and ideas that have not been assigned an official word? For example. The space inside the handle of a coffee cup. Wordless.

Move over, Webster, because creating combinations of consonants and vowels is my 7th favorite hobby. And, thanks to my helpful sidekick/sister, a new wave of vernacular is about to invade your vocabulary.

wat [wat] (coined by Marissa B.)
noun
-A cat that resembles a whale
The wat buried its head in its food after pancaking the small child. 

coffeeDHD [also known as Coffee Dependence Hyperactivity Disorder]
noun
-The state of hyperactivity brought about by continual caffeine intake via coffee
"My coffeeDHD is flaring up again," she said as she yelled as she pretended the bed was a trampoline.

gnarsty [nar-stee]
adjective
-The combination of gnarly and nasty used to describe the highest level of grossness on earth as we know it
The smell of sweat mixed with fart mixed with taco meat is straight up gnarsty. 

logoxuria [low-go-zur-ee-ah]
noun
-The feeling of a mixture of awe and envy felt when reading a passage you wish you wrote.
Logoxuria washed over me as I marveled at the words on the page.

chog [chog] (coined by Marissa B.)
noun
1. A dog that is treated as a child.
2. A child that acts like a dog.
The chog enjoyed sticking her face out the car window and barking at unassuming pedestrians (based on a true story)

Have a wonderfully worded Wednesday!

How to get your guy friends to your Bachelorette viewing party

So far this summer, I've learned a thing or two about the sales process. When I'm pounding out cold calls, I like to think of myself as a detective. It is my duty to wipe the tears from the church marketing person's eyes when they realize the millions of dollars spent printing those pesky bulletins are in the same dumpster as the dirty diapers from the nursery. There is an app for that, ladies and gentlemen.

With the help of some key selling techniques, anyone can learn to take on a challenging situation and turn it into gold. While I've had the pleasure of handling quite a few difficult people on the phone, not one has presented a challenge as large as coaxing the guy friends into our living room on Monday nights for The Bachelorette. And I do love a challenge.

I am happy to report that, with the help of a little sales knowledge and sugar, Rachael and I have a 100% conversion rate among the guys in the office under the age of 25. The feat is not as impossible as it sounds, ladies. Time to get your detective on and get the guys in front of your TV tonight.

Step 1: The Upfront Contract (UFC for short). One part brutal honesty and the other part mystery, a good upfront contract sounds something like: "Hey, you should come over for the Bachelorette tonight. Can I tell you why I'm saying this?" Ending with a question is like a dangling a fishing pole with Justin Beiber tickets in front of a group of 13 year old girls. Consider attention caught.

Step 2: Find the pain. In sales, you're not trying to sell a product, but a pain reliever. These guys have something missing in their life that you can give them. Pick two of these pain points after your UFC.

1. "You'll just spend 3 hours playing Halo otherwise." 

2. "You get to hang out with awesome people."

3. "You can make fun of it all you want."

4. "Our house smells good."

5. "We just went grocery shopping."

6. "We miss you."

7. "There are no games on tonight."

8. "Our couch is more comfortable than yours."

9. "We can skip through commercials." (if you have DVR)

10. "We're making dessert."

In my experience, numbers 1 and 10 work the best. 

Step 3: Pound the pain. Not to be graphic, but in sales, once you've found the "bruise" on your prospect, punch it. Our people have a giant hole in their lives where sugary treats should reside, so we know to make cookies, peanut butter bars, and cherry squares the main focus. Ask what kind of food the dudes want, and the sale is as good as yours. 

Step 4: Resistance. If you run across a more difficult prospect, let them talk out their issue. Be kind, and always validate ("I totally understand why you hate the show, but let me tell you why it will be worth your time"). Keep the conversation going by asking more questions, and try to understand where they are coming from. Some people's pain just requires more digging than others. If all else fails, a classic guilt trip is usually effective.

Step 5: Close the deal. Send a calendar invite and get those cookies in the oven. 

If at first you don't succeed, be patient and keep pounding the pain. Some will take longer to convince than others, but, in our experiences we've found they will all come around eventually. 

Happy Bachelorette Monday! ;)

Imissionation: Where am I going in life

Thursday afternoon, I had the opportunity to meet with two Indy-based PR professionals who are rockstars in the industry. Wide-eyed and with pen in hand, I tried to make like a sponge and soak up every word they said while scribbling bits of the conversation in my trusty composition notebook (almost identical to the ones sitting in front of them. Take that, iPads).

Like gum to the bottom of a shoe, the advice they offered that has stuck with me since that meeting has been the cruciality of strategy in communication. Every word an organization utters, whether it be on a social media outlet, in a press release, or on the company website, must somehow fit into that organization's goals and vision for the future. You must have a plan in which every action fits. 

So that got me thinking. I found myself rewinding to stormy Tuesday night, grabbing a midnight snack with my best goons and talking about life. We were playing "The Question Game" (probably my favorite thing ever), and inquiring about random things. The question, "What is your mission in life?" came up. Dots connected. The same way a strategy must be implemented into a communication plan really should also be a factor in life. 

How often do I find myself just meandering through the day-to-day, with zero forward thinking and no rhyme or reason to my actions? 

I need a plan. And a mission. And imagination. 

I need imissionation. 

imissionation - noun

1. the culmination of one's life mission and vision for the future

2. an attitude which drives one to creatively seize the day

3. a rejection of complacency as to live life to the full

Here we go.

Main Mission:

To spread the love of Jesus in a way that creatively redeems the broken elements of a fallen world. 

I think sometimes, Christ-followers get stuck in the idea that we must either reject the world completely, or throw all caution to the wind and dance on ice with it. I believe, in following in Christ's example, we are called to engage with culture in a way that redeems it. God is in the process of redeeming all creation to Himself, and if we're not helping that process, we're hindering it. A Christ-followers reactions to most situations are the exact opposite of any old human's. With Jesus guiding you, people will notice a difference. And that is exactly what I want. 

Goal 1:

Put God first, others second, and myself third on the priority list. Always.

Goal 2:

Live up to the responsibilities God has given me in being a role model. 

My family is such a unique and beautiful construction. Being the oldest child (by 7 and 10 years), I'm humbled and honored by the role God has given me in my two little sister's lives. Its something I don't take lightly, because I have a responsibility to set a positive example and come alongside my parents in raising them to be Godly women. Burkhardt Babes for life.

Goal 3: 

Carpe all diems. 

I refuse to let opportunities slip through my fingers. My bucket list gets longer every day, and every day Today, Monday, July 1st (holy smokes its already July!?), I'm the oldest I've ever been and the youngest I'll ever be again (thanks for that, Eleanor Roosevelt). Time to get carpe-ing.

Goal 4:

Lifelong bestfriendship with the King of Kings.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10

If any word, thought, or action doesn't fit in with the imissionation I have laid out, its got to go. Life is short, people! Live it up.